by LYTA GOLD
Lobsters’ serotonin receptors are much like humans’, to the point where lobsters can be affected by anti-
depressants. Lobster social structure is hierarchical. What does this tell us about human beings and our innate need for hierarchy?
Lobsters’ serotonin receptors are much like humans’, to the point where lobsters can be affected by anti-
depressants. Lobster social structure is hierarchical. What does this tell us about human beings and our innate need for hierarchy?
a. Human beings, like lobsters, desire to be ruled by a single Uberlobster, who reigns under the sea on a throne of barnacles and blood.
b. Human beings, like lobsters, desire to be eaten by a larger, more intelligent, and more mobile species. That’s why I’ve set up radio beacons inviting alien gourmands to descend to our world and choose among us. Welcome, diners of the galaxy! I’m the meatiest!
c. Human beings, like lobsters, sometimes die of exhaustion while molting, which is why getting dressed in the morning is so haaaard.
d. Human beings, like lobsters, only mate when the female of the species selects a male, lurks outside his house, and pees a mighty stream of pheromone-scented urine on his door. If this isn’t what your personal mating behavior looks like, you are not obeying your natural genetic instinct, and must correct yourself accordingly.
